👤 Bakeray — Character Sheet
LEGENDARY NPC"Level ?? Boss — Immune to invites, summons, and responsibility"
- Real Name
- [REDACTED - Nice try]
- Known Aliases
- Bakeray, Ray Electronica, That Guy Who's Never On
- Class
- Whatever he rolled last — changes every expansion
- Spec
- AFK (Primary) / "I'll switch if we need it" (Secondary, never happens)
- Level
- Max (when servers are down for maintenance)
- Guild
- TeaBag Raiders (intermittent member)
- Server
- Sargeras (Alliance)
- Faction
- Alliance (For the Alliance! ...from the couch)
- Achievement Points
- Lower than expected
- Item Level
- Always 15 behind everyone else
- Arena Rating
- We don't talk about this
- League Rank
- Hardstuck (but it's his team's fault)
- Played Since
- Vanilla (brings this up constantly)
- Online Status
- OFFLINE — since approximately always
🌱 IRL Character Sheet
COMMON- Occupation
- Professional Wook
- Location
- Somewhere with legal weed presumably
- History
- Roommates with LiverPunch. This is canon.
- Primary Skill
- Rolling (various applications)
- Secondary Skill
- Losing money on NFTs
- Tertiary Skill
- Saying "word" to mean literally anything
- Weakness
- Logging in when people need him
- Catchphrase
- "word" / "lmao" / "bet"
- Alignment
- Chaotic Absent
- Spirit Animal
- A sloth that bought crypto at the top
- NFT Collection
- We'll get to that. See Wall of Shame »
⚡ Known Abilities
| Ability | Type | Cooldown | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| Vanish (Improved) | Passive | Always active | Permanently invisible to group finder. Cannot be detected by /who or whispers. |
| Word | Instant | None | Responds to any statement with "word." Meaning unclear. Stacks infinitely. |
| I'll Be On Later | Channeled | 24h (real: ∞) | Promises to log on. Channel is always interrupted. Has never successfully cast. |
| Smoke Screen | Active | Depends on supply | Reduces reaction time by 80%. Increases snack consumption by 400%. Stacks with Netflix. |
| NFT Shield | Defensive | Triggered by mockery | "It's a long-term hold." Absorbs all criticism. Does not absorb financial losses. |
| Legendary Night | Buff | Once per expansion | Declares a gaming session will be "legendary." Night is always mediocre at best. |
| lmao | Emote | None | Used when he has nothing else to contribute. See also: "Word" |
💰 Loot Table
Drops from: Defeating Bakeray in an argument (impossible) or catching him online (also impossible)
| Item | Quality | Drop Rate | Effect |
|---|---|---|---|
| ⚔ Bakeray, The Absent Blade | Legendary | 0.01% | +420 "I'll be on later" |
| 💍 Ring of Perpetual AFK | Epic | 100% | Wearer appears offline even when online |
| 📜 Deprecated NFT Certificate | Worthless | 100% | -$2,400 to wallet. Cannot be vendored. |
| 🌱 Bakeray's "Herbal" Potion | Common | 100% | Haste reduced by 90%. Hunger increased by 500%. |
| 💬 Worn-Out "Word" Token | Poor | 100% | Vendor price: 1 copper. Just like his NFTs. |
💬 Comments (5)
Sylv
Posted 2 hours ago
▲ 47 ▼ 0
I've been playing with this guy for 15 years and I still don't know his raid schedule because he doesn't have one. He just appears like a cryptid and then vanishes for a month. 10/10 would recruit again.
Posted 1 hour ago
Lived with this dude. Can confirm: the AFK status is accurate for real life too. "Hey want to go get food?" "word" *doesn't move for 3 hours*
Posted 3 weeks ago
word
Posted 4 hours ago
hells yeah my dude, noice write-up haha. he's not THAT bad tho, when he actually shows up he's solid. play w/e you like my dude! just... be online lol
Posted 5 hours ago
gaboon. i dont understand why am i on this website fool. also i think the boss is bugged his vanish never drops off. also tell me where to stand for tanking and shit