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📜 The Sacred Texts

A curated archive of wisdom, prophecy, and "word" from the Discord scrolls

📘 About the Sacred Texts

CANONICAL

What follows is a carefully curated collection of quotes, exchanges, and prophecies pulled directly from the Discord DMs spanning 2017 to 2026. These texts have been preserved for future generations so they may understand the enigma that is Bakeray.


Note: All quotes are real. We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

Chapter I: The Gospel of "Word"

CORE DOCTRINE

In the beginning, there was darkness. And then Bakeray said "word", and it meant everything and nothing simultaneously. This is the foundation upon which all Bakeray communication is built.

Sylv
hey are you coming to raid tonight?
Bakeray
word

Translation: Unknown. He did not log in.

Sylv
dude your NFTs are worth literally nothing now
Bakeray
lmao

Translation: Acceptance? Denial? Transcendence? The scholars debate to this day.

Bakeray
no wow obligations today - LEGENDARY NIGHT

The night was, in fact, not legendary. He played for 45 minutes and went to bed.

Chapter II: Where Is Bakeray?

RECURRING MYSTERY

The eternal question. Asked at least once per gaming session since 2011. The answer is always the same: nobody knows.

Sylv
where tf is ray
LiverPunch
dude he's probably baked out of his mind right now
Sylv
its literally 3pm on a tuesday
LiverPunch
yeah so?

Sylv
ray said he'd be on at 9
LiverPunch
lol
Sylv
its 11:30
LiverPunch
LMAO

Bakeray
yo im hopping on rn

Narrator: He did not hop on. "rn" apparently means "sometime in the next fiscal quarter."

Chapter III: The Legendary SKT Bakeray

LEAGUE ARC

In League of Legends, Bakeray adopted the self-given title of "The Legendary SKT Bakeray", referencing the legendary Korean esports team SKT T1. His actual gameplay did not reflect this title.

Bakeray
the legendary skt bakeray is ready to carry
Sylv
youre 0/7 at 15 minutes
Bakeray
its a slow start

LiverPunch
bro you just walked into 5 people
Bakeray
i thought i could outplay it
Sylv
you walked straight into them. you didnt even use an ability
Bakeray
lmao

Chapter IV: The Bubbles Chronicles

GUILD LORE

Bubbles. Every guild has one. He's there, he tries, and the results are... consistent. Self-appointed tank who needs to be told "where to stand for tanking and shit." Calls everyone "fool" and says "gaboon" like it means something. The one thing Bakeray, Sylv, LiverPunch, and Wildes can all agree on.

Sylv
bubbles just pulled the entire room
Bakeray
LMAO
LiverPunch
bro how does he do this every single time

LiverPunch
bubbles is dead again
Sylv
what a shock
Bakeray
lol classic bubbles

Sylv
who invited bubbles to the mythic+
Bakeray
not me i wasnt even online
Sylv
YOURE NEVER ONLINE THATS THE PROBLEM

Chapter V: "It's A Long-Term Investment"

NFT ARC

The NFT chapter. The one that keeps on giving. Bakeray bought in at the top and has been holding the bag ever since. Sylv and LiverPunch have not let this go and never will.

Bakeray
yo i just bought this sick NFT
Sylv
how much
Bakeray
like 2 grand
LiverPunch
BRO WHAT
Sylv
you spent 2 grand on a jpeg??????
Bakeray
its not just a jpeg its on the blockchain
LiverPunch
i just right clicked and saved it

For the complete financial disaster, visit the NFT Wall of Shame »

Chapter V½: The Gospel of "My Dude"

CORE CREW

If Bakeray is the ghost and Bubbles is the liability, Wildes is the backbone. The rogue/warrior main who actually shows up, farms his own gold, and somehow keeps a positive attitude despite playing with the rest of us. His vocabulary consists of "hells yeah", "noice", "yeoo", and calling everyone "my dude." He is the only member of TeaBag Raiders who has never caused a wipe, a drama, or a financial loss.

Wildes
hells yeah my dude
Sylv
you ready for raid tonight?
Wildes
im ready to turn in these 20 quests and hammer this shit out

The man was, in fact, ready. Unlike some people.


Wildes
my rogue is a farm machine. 400+g
Sylv
meanwhile ray has 12 gold
Bakeray
lmao

Sylv
what class you rolling?
Wildes
play w/e you like my dude!
Wildes
umm, always need healers haha

Supportive AND strategic. A rare combination in this guild.


Wildes
i can't even kill these kobolds lol
LiverPunch
bro how are you dying to kobolds
Wildes
yeoo they hit hard my dude haha

Even when struggling, Wildes keeps it positive. The anti-Bakeray.

Chapter VI: Rare Moments of Clarity

RARE DROP

Once in a great while, Bakeray strings together more than one word. These moments are treasured by the community.

Bakeray
honestly I think the problem with the guild is nobody communicates
Sylv
RAY. YOU HAVENT BEEN ONLINE IN THREE WEEKS.
Bakeray
word

And like that, the moment of clarity was gone.

📝 Submit a Quote

Have a legendary Bakeray quote we missed? Submit it below!


Note: Quotes consisting solely of "word", "lmao", or "bet" will be auto-accepted as they are statistically most likely to be real.